Twin Birth Story: Part 2

*Twin Birth Story: Part 1

The EMT's helped me into my new bed at Mckay Dee Hospital as my entourage filed in.  The room was crowded but I was thankful that so many people loved us enough to come see us at 11:30 pm.  My Labor and Delivery (L&D) nurse was very sweet and made us all feel comfortable.  She told us the plan of attack was to try and refill Avonlea's amniotic sac using my IV (her sac was the only one leaking) and also to stop contractions.

As we waited we chatted but after a few hours we realized that this was going to be a long slow process.  We sent home Brit, Dad and Nat and settled in for the rest of the night.  Clay was noticeably stressed out...which means he gets really quiet but he eventually was able to get some sleep.  With no sleep in sight for me my mom turned on the "soothing" channel on the TV.  During the night the channel features shooting stars and soft music.  I watched this channel for 3 1/2 hours straight and loved every minute of it (we later asked if they sold this in the gift shop...sadly they don't).  It's funny that I remember this channel so much...I think it is because it brought me comfort and reminded me of the heavens and the big man up stairs who was watching out for my little family.

The on call doctor came in and tenderly told us that medication wasn't slowing down my contractions and that we would be delivering within the next 12 hours.  She asked us if we wanted to meet with one of the head NICU nurses and hear about what typically happens with babies born at 30 weeks.  Clay and I decided it was a good idea and soon she came in and talked with Mom, Clay and I.

She came in and first talked with us about the delivery process for premature babies and how they will be taken away quickly.  She also said that I may or may not get to see them before they are taken to the NICU depending on how they score on the newborn apgar scale.

This next part of the story still makes me tear up and creates a knot in my throat.

She then explained typical emotions felt by parents of early babies.  She told us of how we may blame ourselves and how this will be the worst time in our lives.  She told us she understands that there are few things worse than watching your tiny child suffer silently and struggle to live.  She talked about the helplessness as we sit beside our children and not be able to touch them.  She talked about the soul sucking day-in and day-out of the NICU process, especially when your child doesn't improve quickly.

She told us to be prepared for these feelings and all I wanted to do was punch her in the face (a weird reaction right? Wrong...I know she was trying to prepare us but she was mostly just scaring the pants off of two almost new parents who hadn't eaten or slept...not cool...hence the face punching.).

As I sat there laboring without pain medication I held it together.  Once she left my mom also stepped out so that Clay and I could be alone.  When the room became empty Clay and I held hands and wept for what would be our first and last pitty party thrown in our little family's honor.  We didn't say a word we just sobbed.

After some time we dried our tear and DECIDED to become strong....I not only put on big girl panties but also my bitch bra, my shit kicker boots and my spiked leather belt with the boy toy buckle (a quote I found that accurately describes what I emotionally did...I also apologize for the language).

Soon the sun was up and things we moving along.  The little peppy epidural nurse came in and asked if I wanted to get on the epidural list.  I told her no because the on call doctor had told me if I get an epidural then that would sway another doctor to deliver me rather then keeping the twins in for a few more days if possible.  But of course the cute little girl, who was all showered and skinny, said in a mockingly serious voice that I needed to get on the list because the doctor has so many other girls that may get ahead of me.  Thankfully my L&D nurse (who had my best interest at heart) told this little girl to Get. Out. and that we would call her if we needed her...not likely.

Labor wasn't slowing down so they decided to take me off the contraction stopping drugs and let me go into full labor.  Then one of our many miracles happened...contractions slowed down, in fact they slowed down enough for me to be able to leave Labor and Delivery and send me to the baby ward for hospital bed rest.

With the IV fluid refilling Avonlea's amniotic sack, I was told that I would be in this room until I hit 34 weeks and then the babies would be delivered.  So I settled into my new home with my family and friends doing a great job visiting me daily.  In fact, my mom and sister even brought Joy to the hospital and I was able to get in a wheel chair to see her.  My room was small but they had put me next to the window looking over the water fountain and away from most of the crying babies.  I was gifted flowers, puzzles and even had a poster of a kitten hanging by a branch with the words "Hang in There" on the wall.  The nurses said my room was definitely "lived" in.

I had the best nurses and was lucky enough to have the same ones multiple days.  Each time they would come in they would tell me they were happy to see me still here and that  today's only goal was to stay pregnant.  When Clay did leave for some outside time the nurses would come into my room and talk to me about anything.  In fact, I had conversations with the cleaning ladies, the food service people and anyone else willing to stop by.  The food service people stopped making me verify my name and birth date because they saw me 4 times a day.

Clay was so amazing.  He slept on a toddler sized rock hard couch every single night and he couldn't even cuddle me because of the baby monitors they had strapped to my belly to detect each babies' heartbeat and contractions.  He also had to endure the nurses coming in at all hours to check my vitals.  Rock Star Award Winner goes to him, hands down.

By the time I had been in there a week I knew that Clay needed to go back up to Logan to work...mostly for his sanity.  I thought I could last a least one day without him...apparently I was wrong because that was the day that I went into labor...for real this time.

 *Photos by Brittany Bennion Photography